Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Keshav v/s Kalsi [Part Gotte']

Let me clarify first of all the title isn’t any reminiscent from the famous serial Junoon!!

It’s a Keshav (yours truly) V/s Jasjit Singh Kalsi (the Dentist)

Dr. J.S. Kalsi (B.D.S., M.D.P i.e. Self Proclaimed Multi Dimensional Personality)


Resi.47-SF Improvement Trust Flats

(Opp. A Block Mkt.), Ranjit Avenue



Timings Morning (9:00 am to 1 pm)-summers

Morning (10:00 am to 1 pm)-winters

Mon. to Sat. Evening (4:00 pm to 9:00 pm)-summers

Evening (3:00 pm to 8:00 pm)-winters

Sunday By Appointment Only

Dr Kalsi is now not any ordinary dentist he’s quite unique because

  1. Is a Sardar (with a white beard)
  2. Loves to listen to hard rock especially death metal (His shabad kirtan) \m/
  3. Has a Sexy wife, a qualified nurse in the Government Dental Hospital.

4. An equally sexy modified Karizma

5. A big fan of Amway’s Naturopathy

6. Quite witty and jovial/senile/crack

So that explains why I liked the guy initially, besides I was visiting a dentist for the second time in my life, for my own troubles until now I’d been the accompanier. And first impression is the last impression, so Dr. Kalsi impressed me and my folks very well. But how did I know that beneath this mask of the suave, rocker dentist dwelled the devil incarnate yes you are right Mr. 666.

So doc tells me I got cavities here there and even beneath my older fillings (filled twelve years ago in Bombay, yes my dear Mumbai, Aaamchi Mumbai). And as it’s well versed to everybody the scantiness of dentists in Rourkela my folks readily agreed to his proposal of various filling. Eight fillings (six older ones and two newer ones, they always crop up, these cavities) which were done in mere one sitting.

I was in a hurry had to go to Rourkela and there was no time left, (most of the time was killed loitering around in Amritsar with Mr. Saun Rabh Di Sharma on his dear Passion). So I agreed for the filling immediately, who knows what might happen in Rourkela. Now Dr. Kalsi rest assured of his income for the month, drills my tooth,

“open wide, I want to sit inside your mouth” “Open At Ease, “it’s not at ease Kalsi and my mouth is paining””.

Yes I like Rock but just imagine hearing it with the grrrrrrrrrrring of the drill mixed with Rock; it sounds strange and increases the pain, the stress and the resultant suffering, mixed with Kalsi’s persistent agonizing questions

“You listen to Ramstein???”

“Ahhhh” (that’s a yes, you’ll sound the same with all the dentist’s contraptions in your mouth)

“No ??????”

“You should hear it, it’s very good, and this is their new album Mutter”

“I O” (I know)

“Hearing it for the first time???”

“OO???” (No)

“Glad you liked it”

“Want to listen to Judas Priest??????”

“Ae !!!” (Yes)


“Want to listen to Ozzy??????”

“Ae!!!” (Yes)

“Maybe you want listen to something soft, how about Pink Floyd??? Want to listen ??????”

“Ae!!!” (Yes),


“Want to listen to Nirvana??????”

“Ae, I aaa ga bangg !!!” (Yes, I love the band)

“No, you don’t like grunge?????, what do you listen to then???”

“I like Nirvana”

“Dolly Patron???”

“Your choice sucks, that’s not rock my dear”

Aaaaarrrgghhh!!! Give me Nirvana my dear God from this idiot.

He eventually stuck on Pink Floyd; the songs couldn’t be made out due to the incessant noise by the drill and his carving of the cementing material, into a tooth, and the blue light to dry and cement it permanently, all that I could want was some grass, my dear grass to forget this pain, blabbering from Kalsi and enjoy Floyd, Grass I miss you my dear.

“See I’m a M.D.P., I carve, repair cycles, scooter, generators, compressors, music systems. How old are you Keshav???”



An affirmative nod from me “Thank God, he’s correct after all”

“This scooter is eight years older than you!!!!, all due to my expertise and modifications” Big Smile on his face

“I’ve replaced my Karizma’s wheels, handles, rear view mirrors, cabling, exhaust pipe…..”

My mother remarks he’s suffers from Allergic Rhinitis and has just had Jaundice

“Okay. This is all due to the artificial DRUGS taken nowadays, you should go in for Amway. Ceaseless advertising blabber on it ……………….. Do you get pocket money Keshav??”


“No, well join Amway and earn your pocket money and start earning before passing from the college.”

“Ok! ‘jus shut up! I’ve suffered from E-biz!

“Bas! Five minutes more and the job’s over, I’m relaxed, thank God it’s has been over two & a half hours here.”

But Kalsi wouldn’t let me go so soon, the devil. As soon as I got up from his chair, Confident™ Economy (Deluxe) with the Confident ™ lamp on my eyes, Kalsi shouted “ Oh God, I forget to fill one filling, don’t worry I’ve left it drilled only carving to be done , five minutes only”

But how did a poor soul like me who was visiting a dentist for the second time in his life, for his own troubles until now who’d been the accompanier, that in a dentist’s terminology; 5 minutes= ½ hour

Finally comes the end of this agony, in a mere 5 minutes (½ hour end).

“End of Part Gotte”

Who Am I???
I often think about myself
Who am I??
What is this set of Bones & Flesh
doing in this Rat Race?
Will I ever be able to
emerge out of it?
Will my soul remain entwined in these worldly affairs?
I was born in this land
So will I perish into it.
Birth & Death are 'Peaceful'
the transition is a 'Pain'.
No idea of the time before
Neither of the time after.
Will my kith Condole my
Impure Soul?
What will I gain through all
that I have enmassed
Will I be able to pursue
my Ultimate Goal-"Moksha"?